The Netizen

The "I RESCUED A HUMAN TODAY" Chain Letter

There's so much wrong with this that I don't even know where to begin.

It's a chain letter story which has been circulating since at least as far back as Nov. 17, 2008, when it first slobbered all over my screen. So this dog has been sitting in the kennel and "rescuing" the same woman every day, since then, for as many times as this story has been forwarded.

It's supposedly from the point of view of a homeless dog, who believes he has "rescued" a human simply by existing ever so sadly until she comes along to take him home.

Talk about anthropomorphism to the hilt. Not nearly enough detail was written to explain whether this dog is supposed to come from a pound or a breeder, (a favorite target for abuse by animal rescuers) but it seems to be a bid to put animal "rescue" back into a really phony altruistic light.

So...this dog "knew" this human needed help, and didn't want to show her he had a bad sad past, but was only concerned for her future - uh, this is a dog we're talking about, right?

Oh well, I guess my pets have "rescued" me too, many times.

They could've left everything out but the bare details of the human looking into the kennels and needing to get a pet, and the human/animal contact and affection, the tears in the woman's eyes at the joy of getting a pet, without all that other doggy-feely nonsense.

On a more serious note, the story appears to be touting "Adopt an animal from the SPCA! or "Rescue a dog from a bad kennel and boost his self-esteem!"

Let's get this straight, animals are not little fur people. They may show preference for one person over another, but please, a dog isn't going to wish to spare the feelings of the pound workers or try to hide his supposedly sad sad past from his new owner so she won't cry any more. A dog is not going to be concerned with his own future let alone that of any other being on this earth. A dog is an animal.

Warning, sickly soppy chain letter animal story below, read at your own risk. You may laugh at how pathetic it is, or you may get sucked in and cry over what you perceive as the dog's altruism, depending on which side of the common sense fence you're on.

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----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, November 17, 2008 9:53 PM
Subject: I RESCUED A HUMAN TODAY

I RESCUED A HUMAN TODAY
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someones life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate
for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.

I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor.
So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.