The Netizen

From: somebody who should know better
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
-Yet again.
Subject: : Birthdays 2009

-As if those info collecting web site birthday calendars aren't already lame enough, this is a birthday collecting chain letter!

Live well, love much and laugh often!

-I do, and I don't need chain letters telling me to, in fact, they make me want to do anything but laugh, and don't make me feel particularly loving toward the people who insist on passing them around.

2009 Birthdays (DO NOT DELETE)

-Yes, 2009 was when I first received this chain letter, but it is sure to crop up again and again every new year. Oh, and yes, it's perfectly safe to delete this chain letter. It will not erase your memory so that you'll forget your friends' birthdays or your own for that matter. It won't give you bad luck or erase your calendar if you delete it. It won't make you and your friend have a happier birthday if you do what it says, including and most importantly, passing it along to everybody!

Let's have some fun!

-Let's get something straight, shall we? Forwarding chain letters isn't having fun. Getting chain letters isn't having fun.

See how long it gets and where this goes.

-Translation: Pass it on to absolutely as many people as you can, and make sure I get a copy back! That's right, people, that is the whole and only real goal of this thing, to be copied and spread, copied and spread all over the net, repeatedly. The birthday thing is just a hook, and sorry friend, you just got suckered by a chain letter.

This will be our big 2009 email to pass.

-And then 2010, then 2011, you get the idea, it will come again and again.

Give it a go!    364 Birthdays!

-No. I don't know a person with a birthday for each day of the year. Even if I did, I wouldn't put their names and birthdays into this stupid chain letter! Not only that, it's not like the chain letter originator or the poor sap who forwarded it to me knows the same people as me let alone somebody for every day of the calendar year. That completely discredits this chain letter for the manipulative junk it is right there. So that is that.

This is kind of cool!

-Just because a chain letter says it's kind of cool sure doesn't mean it is. In fact, it's more than kind of dumb!

Out of all of the billions of people who live in the world, there has to be somebody born on each date of the year.

-Well no kidding! But this chain letter isn't going to make you know them all!

We are going to try to accomplish the task of seeing if we can fill the calendar up with a birthday on every day of the year.

-That's already been done, by people being born every day of the year! You won't know them all by filling out and spamming people with a junk chain letter! You won't be hurt and you won't miss out on anything by not knowing them! You could get hurt by participating in this chain letter and your information gets into the wrong hands!

Add your name (NO LAST names) and your city / province (or state) next to your birth date to the list below.  Then, send this list to all your friends, plus the person who sent it to you!  Don't forget to erase the previous forwarded address before clicking "Send".

-And put your email address, location and part of your name out there in cyberspace for absolutely everybody and anybody who gets this chain letter, and by the way, requesting copies back is stupid. If everybody did that, the net would crash because of all the junk chain letters! If you want to slow the net to a slither, and risk having millions of strangers get your email address, first name, location, and birth date, which is all identity thieves and spammers need to make your life a living nightmare, then by all means, participate in this stupid chain letter and do everything it says! If you're smart, you won't do it!

Let's see if we can do it!!   Forward it, just hit the forward button then you can add your name beside the date.    If someone has already put their name in the slot for the date of your birthday, please just add your name beside it and DO NOT DELETE THAT PERSON'S NAME!!!

-Whatever. No, don't forward it, don't even fill it out. Just delete it.

Jan. 1 =

-And on it goes with the dates from the first of January to the thirty-first of December. Some names and locations were there, but whether they are for real or just inserted to look real by the chain letter originator, or actually filled out by people sucked into doing this forward, I don't know. In any case, this chain letter is a very bad idea, it's nothing but an info collector, bandwidth waster, internet clogger, it is anything but kind of big fun cool!

-When the new year comes around, how about making the best resolution of all, one that could benefit you and your friends in so many ways! Make a resolution to stop spreading chain letters!