The Netizen

 
« Back to blog

Mangled Messages from Muddled Minds - When a Girl/Guy Calls You

                    It's time once again to bust more chain letter bulletins.
 
When a Girl or Guy Calls you
 
Girl Facts
 
-No, not girl facts, but chain letter factoids. This means bits and pieces of mostly balderdash that people are more likely to swallow hook line and sinker if they are labeled as facts.
 
When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile
 
-Not necessarily. There could be a million different reasons ranging from you reminding her of someone else she knows, to some absolutely glaring outfit or hair style you're sporting and she can't help but notice and has to do her best not to gawk.
 
When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand
 
-Um, er, - no...Better be careful not to walk within bumping distance of anybody then!
 
When she wants a hug she will just stand there
 
-Nope, in my case usually if I'm just standing there it means I'm waiting for something or somebody or daydreaming or both. If I want a hug, I'll come toward the person with arms outstretched and a certain expression on my face that can't be mistaken for anything other than wanting a hug.
 
When u break a girls heart she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later
 
-Not so likely...especially if she's in a good relationship with someone else, and even if she isn't, you're just ancient history.
 
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind
 
-My daydreams aren't that hectic! Other times I'm quiet because I'm concentrating on something or just enjoying a quiet moment.
 
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply
 
What absolute tosh! Here's what this translates as, and it's pretty silly: if you're a girl, you can be in two modes only, arguing, or deeply thinking. This means girls can't engage in small talk or fun, because that doesn't usually have much to do with deep thought or else in order to be a girl, everything that comes out of your mouth must either be a deep thought or fighting words! I don't think so!
 
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around
 
-More likely trying to figure out what the heck you just said.
 
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine
 
-Nope, not this girl...If I'm fine I'll say so. If I'm not I'll say I could be better or something to that effect.
 
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games
 
-More likely she's just seen you do something outrageous.
 
When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever
 
-Amazing how such a simple act can supposedly convey such a loaded message! Crap - better not let my head touch some guy's chest, ever. Not even in a long line up for groceries or at the bank.
 
-And don't forget the ticket master or any crowded event in or outside.
 
When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future
 
-Or 1. She needs help, or 2. She's just been listening to too many mushy love songs and thinks you'll appreciate hearing her say some cute puppy-love things.
 
When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that
 
-I beg to differ. Kids can really miss their parents every bit as much when separated and the other way around. Guys can also miss their girlfriends or spouses.
 
When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back, but shes scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever
 
-Really now!?
 
"You were such a jerk and I'm only being mean so you'll come back and be a jerk to me all over again"
 
I think not! It's called hurt and vengence, nothing to do with wanting some loser back.
 
Guy Facts:
 
Again, not facts but chain letter broad generalization factoids.
 
When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you
 
-Actually no. I get calls from guys about anything from church to business to old friends wanting to keep in touch. I also get calls from telemarketers who are guys so there goes that theory.
 
When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you...
 
-and if I'm not saying anything?
 
When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong
 
-So guys have two modes, arguing, and being wrong? Holy cow this is lame!
 
When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes he means it
 
-Unless he's not feeling well or has been injured and wants to shrug it off.
 
When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
 
-Or maybe he just notices something about me.
 
When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world
 
-Gosh, I never knew the world was my head! Crikey Gee whizz holy freakin Batman!
 
When a guy calls texts comments you everyday, he is in love
 
-Um, I don't do the text message thing - but again, it would probably depend more on the content of the messages.
 
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
 
-Can't disagree with that.
 
When a guy says he can't liv without you, he's with you til your done
 
-Til I'm done what? And that would worry me. It's enough to be responsible for my own life, I don't want somebody else hinging their life or lack of it on whether or not they can live with me.
 
When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
 
-Hmmm, I guess that cancels out the meaningfulness of when a girl says "I miss you"?
 
repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you
 
-Who believes this malarkey.
 
someone was in your mind as you read this
 
-Actually, no.
 
Post this as
 
IF YOUR A GUY " When a guy calls you..."
 
AND
 
IF YOUR A GIRL POST IT AS "When a girl calls you
 
-Sorry, it's been renamed "Mangled Messages from Muddled Minds"

  
(download)

Comments (0)

Leave a comment...

 
Got an account with one of these? Login here, or just enter your comment below.
Posterous-login    Connect    twitter