Debunk of the Anne Wichert Love World Record Chain Letter
It's hard to believe people actually post this crud
as is, to their blogs.
But they do, again and again.
Sometimes the chain is posted with parts missing,
as in minus the world record stupidity, the Anne Wichert tale, or that awful
kissing poem. It has been seen cropping up as simply posted as "Why Guys Like
Girls" and starting with the lame statement that girls smell good if it's just
their shampoo. It is unclear why the slightly different mutations of what
amounts to the same stupid crap, unless it's an attempt at fooling everyone into
thinking it's something they haven't seen before.
Unlike those who actually think chain letters are
something great and go posting them with comments agreeing with them, or with no
comments at all, I am going to tear this one apart. It's time somebody on the
blogosphere calls chain letters and those who send/post them for what they are
and why...
--
The Anne Wichert Love Luck Guinness World Record
Chain Letter
This chain letter is real so follow the
instructions and something good will happen!!
-Typical chain letter claim, and if you believe it,
you may as well believe that you've just won the Golden Gate Bridge and
surrounding property. All you have to do is send me your money and bank account
info and I'll hand the property over to you tomorrow!
LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD
LUCK!!!!!
-Too bad I can't honestly wish you good
luck...
Sorry, but this chain letter is for
real.
-No, you're not sorry, and it's anything but for
real.
When Anne Wichert got it for the first time, she
ignored it and a week later the love of her life dumped her for no good
reason
-Awww, poor heart-broken, fictional Anne
Wichert...
so BEWARE, and just send the stupid
letter!!!!!!
-Beware, and do not send the letter or post it as
is unless you want to risk the possibility of being thought of as
"stupid".
The Lovers of the Heart
In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.
In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.
-Huh? Nothing quite like using the wrong words in
the wrong context to create a badly constructed phrase to really look like an
idiot. So hugs are 'mighty' now, and they 'promote' kisses? *GONG!*
Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss
1. Kiss on the hand I adore you 2. Kiss on the cheek I just want to be friends 3. Kiss on the neck I want you 4. Kiss on the lips I love you 5. Kiss on the ears I am just playing 6. Kiss anywhere else lets not get carried away 7. Look in your eyes kiss me 8. Playing with your hair I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist I love you to much to let you go
1. Kiss on the hand I adore you 2. Kiss on the cheek I just want to be friends 3. Kiss on the neck I want you 4. Kiss on the lips I love you 5. Kiss on the ears I am just playing 6. Kiss anywhere else lets not get carried away 7. Look in your eyes kiss me 8. Playing with your hair I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist I love you to much to let you go
-If people believe this crap, it's little wonder
society is so screwed up... If you can't even look another person in the eye any
more - well...
Article 2: The Three Steps 1. Girls: If any guys
gets fresh with you, slap him.
-What kind of sentence is that? "guys gets fresh"
so are you talking plurrel or singular here? Anyway, how I handle a guy getting
fresh is my own business. I won't slap him if I'm interested in
him.
2. Guys If any girl slaps you, her intentions are
still good.
-ARGH! No, NO, NOOOOOOOOO! Let's get this straight,
people: unless you're in a good relationship already and you and your lover like
to play slapping games - a slap from a girl to some lewd guy trying to come on
to her is the same as when she says no to sex and getting raped. A slap means
"NO, and "No" means "NO!" So don't encourage guys to disrespect girls -
EVER!
3. Guys & Girls Close your eyes when kissing,
it is rude to stare .
-Chude: (because I do not know if you're a dude or
a chick) that's so cliche, from bad romance fiction writing stereotypes. How
people kiss is really none of your business. Kiss with your own eyes closed if
you want to, but leave others to kiss in their own way, kay?
Article 3: The Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
-Again, leave that up to personal preference.
What's hard to you might not be to someone else.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take
one.
-If you're going to do that, you better be sure the
one you're interested in reciprocates first.
3. Thou shall kiss at every
opportunity.
-Uh, no!
* Remember * A peach is a peach A plum is a plum, A
kiss isn't a kiss Without some tongue.
-That's about as fruity and tacky an attempt at a
rhyme I've seen. It doesn't even rhyme. Obviously you'll never be a poet, so
give up now.
So open up your mouth close your eyes, and give
your tongue some exercise!!!
-Eww, no! Again, leave the kissing up to personal
preference. Some of us are not into swapping spit!
This was forwarded to me. I found it kinda sappy
but kinda sweet.
-Sickly sweet.
This was written by a guy)
-No kidding.
Don’t break this; it’s so sweet!
-I'll do more than just break it. When I'm through
with it you will see just how sweet it is.
Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:
1. Girl's always smell good even if it is just
shampoo
-Obviously you've never been around girls after an
intense workout, or girls with obnoxious perfume, or better still, bad
breath!
2. The way their head always finds the right spot
on our shoulders
-Er, uhm....My head tends to stay on my own
shoulders and isn't likely to find a spot on somebody else's. That would make me
headless and the other person a two-header. Cool - not...
3. How cute they look when they sleep
-Oh, sure, especially when they do things like
snore, drool, let air, or toss the blankets off.
4. The ease in which they fit into our
arms
-Not this girl...
5. The way they kiss you and all of sudden
everything in the world is right
-Again, not this girl...
6. How cute they are when they eat
Meh. Open mouth, insert food, chew, swallow,
smile if the food's to one's liking, make a face if it isn't...What's so cute
about that? Do guys not eat pretty much the same way?
7. The way it takes them hours to get dressed but
in the end it's all worth while
-Uh, no, not this girl. I'm the grab a comfy,
practical pair of pants and a top that go nicely together and put them on, and
that takes less than a minute if I'm in a hurry.
8. Because they are always warm even if it's -30
outside
-Uhm no, again, definitely not this
girl!
9. They look good no matter what they
wear
-I doubt I'd look good in something way too tight
or way too loose. Neither would I look good in anything indecent to go out in
public.
10. The way they fish for compliments even though
you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on earth
-Again, not this girl! I take my compliments with
gratitude like most people, but sure don't go fishing for compliments - I simply
don't need my ego stroked or to be flattered.
11. How cute they are when they argue
-You haven't seen me lose my temper. It's anything
but "cute".
-It's also an astoundingly stupid move on your
part, telling a girl she's cute when you're arguing with her. It implies a
number of things - 1. you get off on fighting with her or 2. You think she's
such an air-headed bimbo so desperate for an ego-stroke that she'll just settle
down, kiss you, and be so grateful for the compliment that she'll stop arguing
with you so that you'll win. WRONG!
12. The way her hand always finds
yours
-It's an odd creature that makes a habit of losing
his hand to be "found" by some girl. Got two of my own anyway, so why would I
even try to find yours?
13. The way they smile
-"Cute" when she argues, "cute" when she smiles,
you can't seem to make up your mind, can you?
14. The way you feel after you see her name on your
cell after you just had a big fight
-Not this girl, I tend not to communicate with
people I'm too upset with. But as to your feelings, speak for
yourself.
15. The way they say "lets not fight anymore"- even
though you know that an hour later...
-An hour later, what? And I don't remember ever
uttering that phrase during any disagreement with anyone.
16. The way they kiss you after a
fight
-Ugh - no!
17. The way they kiss you after you say "i love
you"
-I don't go around kissing people at the drop of a
few words.
18. Actually..The way they kiss you...
-Again, not...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they
cry
-I rarely cry, and when I do, I prefer to be
alone...So I'm not going to do the stereotypical damsel in distress crying thing
like what you're more likely to see on TV or in the movies.
20. The way they apologize after crying over
something that silly
-That's an adult thing - people generally get a
little embarrassed when others see them cry.
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt *i
think every girl is guilty of this! :)
-Dude, I haven't hit anyone since grade
school.
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt
(even though we don't admit it)
-I never apologized either.
23. The way they say "i miss you"
-Nope, not this girl.
24. The way you miss them
-Well, I guess you can speak for yourself,
then...
25. The way their tears make you want to change the
world so it doesn't hurt her anymore.
-I've noticed you keep saying "they" as if you -
well, nevermind, I'll come back to that later, but again, speak for
yourself.
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish
they would die or know that you would die without them, it matters not! Because
once in your life, whatever they are to the world, they become everything to
you. When you look them in the eyes, travel the depths of their souls and say a
million things without trace of sound, you know that your own life is inevitable
consumed within the rhythmic beats of her very heart. We love them for a million
reasons, no paper do it justice. It is a thing of not the mind but the
heart.
-My my, but you have got it bad for some chick,
dude...Thank goodness it isn't me!
A feeling.
Only felt.
-Point being?
-But back to what I was saying before about your
"they" throughout this unbelievably gushy chain letter drivel - so, you must've
experienced this stuff with a lot of girls in order to generalize, because you
chose the girls who you figured would be "cute" enough for you...Or you started
trying to get a relationship and each time, it never panned out, so you went on
to the next...
This chain started in 2002.
-Or?
This chain started in 1887.
-So, which is it?
-Neither.
-According to Breakthechain.org, it started in
2001.
-And it should've ended in 2001, preferably before
it was ever circulated...
It is a chain love letter.
It is a love chain letter.
-There is no such thing. A "love letter" is
private, only for the one you love, and a "chain letter" always aims to get
mass-produced to as much of the world as possible, and has nothing whatsoever to
do with love, and everything to do with egomaniacs trying to control the
masses.
In an hour you are supposed to repost
this.
-Or?
In an hour you are supposed to send it to 25
people.
-That statement proves what I just
said.
It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find
them.
-In other words, barge into chat rooms and post
this dreck to a bunch of strangers. If you're looking to be called out as a
spammer and an idiot, and to make enemies, this is the way to do
it.
Anyway, send it to 25 people in 1 hour.
-No...
Now here comes the fun part.
-Dude, reality check: You're in serious need of a
life if this is your idea of "fun".
You then say the name of the person you love or
like, then the person will say "I love you" or "would you go out with me". NO
JOKE!!!
-First, lose the extra exclamation marks and the
capslock.
-Second, it is a joke, a very bad one, not even
worth a grin.
-AS for that going out love crush junk
-
-If you want that to work, you better go to
Hollywood and submit this as a script, because you can't predict or control what
exact words come out of the mouth of anybody otherwise...
NOW THE CONQUENCES!!!
-Outch - those screaming caplocks! And - the what?
Oh, you mean the chain letter threat. Well then, why not just call it a threat
since it's easier for you to spell than "consequences" obviously...
NOW THE CONSEQUENCES
-Spelled correctly in that version, but the
caplocks are still stuck.
The conquences are:
-And you did it again. Please, don't use words you
can't spell, it only gives people something else besides the fact this is a
stupid chain letter to roll their eyes and laugh at.
The consequences are:
If you break this chain letter, you will have bad
luck with future relationships.
-Hogwash. But, if you continue passing on or
originating chain letters, you may very well end up having trouble with
relationships, starting with the loss of friends who get annoyed and even
embarrassed by your stupidity in spreading this junk.
If you dont, you will be a happy
camper.
-Or?
If you don't break the chain, then you will be a
happy camper!!!
-I'm amazed how anyone with two brain cells to rub
together would actually believe this bull.
CoNgRatULaTioNs! !
Congratulations!!
-Explain why in one version, there are random
upper-case letters in the word "Congratulations"
-I don't recall sharing anything that might cause
you to congratulate me...
You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST
and LUCKIEST chain letter ever written on the internet.
-That's what a lot of chain letters say. I know
better. Reality check: it's a big lie, all chain letters of this sort are bunk
without even a reputable history of origin.
Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY
(within the hour) post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with
girls?"
-You have a heck of a huge ego and a lot of
arrogant nerve to tell other people how to kiss, how to hug, and when to post
what, and what to title the post.
Once you read, this letter you must IMMEDIATELY
(meaning within the hour) be sent to 25 people
-Let me get this straight: *I* must be sent to 25
people within the hour after getting this chain letter? And you might want to
put this nifty little thing called a period or dot at the end of your
sentence.
After you send it, make a wish and it will come
true
-Typical big stinking chain letter lie. Of course
no wish will come true after you send it on, it's not like these things are so
powerful that they have magic in them that makes wishes come true whether you
spread it or not.
TRUE YOU MAY NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME TO SEND
IT........ REMEMBER, IT MUST BE SENT TO 25 PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR, OR YOUR WISH
WILL NOT COME TRUE!
-Repeat yourself much? And again with the
screeching caplock, give it a rest! I still won't post it to 25 people, what's
your obsession with that number about anyway?
If THIS CHAIN LETTER IS CONTINUED UNTIL THE YEAR
2945, IT WILL BE PLACED IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!
-Wrong!
Wrong! Go to snopes dot com or break the
chain dot org, type in the keyword search box any of these terms, world record,
Anne Wichert, or Guinness. You will find that the Guiness Book does not and will
not include chain letters in their category lists for world record
setting.
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/guinness.asp">
http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/guinness.html
http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/guinness.html
And ouch, my poor monitor! My poor eyes and ears!
Those caps!
PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!
-No, and stop shouting!
*WARNING* IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON, SOMETHING BAD
OR WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU:
--And the moon is made of cheese...Anyway, bad, bad
punctuation and caplock shouting, bad, bad, bad!
NOTE* THE MORE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO THE MORE
LUCK YOU WILL HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE. IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN LETTER (IT HAS BEEN
GOING SINCE 1887)
-Rince, lather, repeat, rince, lather, repeat...
Stupid caplock!
YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR
SEVEN YEARS. THIS IS NO JOKE. GOOD LUCK
-Like I said, the stupidity of anyone who would
believe this bull is astounding!
-As far as a wish, I do have one - that everybody
on the planet would wise up and stop passing on this junk.
-But people forward crap on to their friends via
email, they even post chain letters on their blogs, journals, Myspace, Facebook
notes. It's one thing to dissect and debunk a chain letter, and discourage the
spreading of it. But simply posting a chain because it tells you to, and gives
you all kinds of phony promises for posting/forwarding, and threats for not
doing so is stupid.
-When you forward a chain letter, you are showing
your friends how gullible you are, and you are decreasing the value of your
emails, blog, content on social networks etc. You are putting yourself down on a
level with the spammer and the stupid and you're wasting bandwidth as well as
your time and everyone else's.
